Three Strangers . . . !

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer.   Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East.

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures.   Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.   The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.   The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping;   but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks . . . "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many.   Why do you suppose that is ?"

The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl,   "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet . . . but I do believe it's a-comin'."

Tonto and The Other Guy . . . !

The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for the night.   After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.   Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see ?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you ?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.   Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.   Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.   Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.   What's it tell you, Tonto ?"

Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber than buffalo turds.   It means someone stole tent."

Cold Winter Ahead . . !

It was Autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.   Since he was a new Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.   But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea.   He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold ?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.   A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter ?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.   Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold ?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure ?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy !"

Broke-Back Cowboy . . . !

A rugged cowboy from Broke-back Mountain, Wyoming, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, you have AIDS."

The cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can I do ?"

The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

The cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me, Doc ?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your arse is for."

Brothers . . !

A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.   He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.   When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.   The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.   It would taste better if you only bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.   One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado.   When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.   So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.   The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.   He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.   One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.   All the regulars take notice and fall silent.   When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,  "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church, and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my brothers though."